May 2025 Health Tip

by J. Renee Livsey |  May 1, 2025

 
Everyone has most likely experienced loss. Loss of a loved one, loss of a relationship, loss of income. With loss comes grief. Grief is a natural response to any kind of loss, and it does not follow any timeline or schedule. Grief can become a mental illness when the intensity and duration of grief symptoms significantly interfere with daily life and functioning. Grief is often described as passing through five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.

To further explain the stages of grief:
Stage 1: Shock and/or Denial: This is a coping mechanism -  a state of shock,  disbelief and numbed feelings. You might pretend the loss isn’t happening. For instance, you may be unable to show emotion or cry at a loved one’s funeral. As you move out of the denial stage, the emotions you’ve been hiding will come out. Think of it as your body's natural defense mechanism.
 
Stage 2: Anger
Anger has a masking effect. This anger may be redirected at other people, the person who died, or even God. While your rational brain knows the object of your anger isn’t to blame, your feelings at that moment are too intense to act according to that. Remember this is normal, and this is where our relationship with God can really help us. Be faithful in prayer, and understand everything is in his planning and in His will.
 
Stage 3:  Bargaining
Followers of Christ may to try to make a deal or promise to God in return for relief from grief and pain. “If only I had called her that night, she wouldn’t be gone.” “If only we had gone to the doctor sooner, we could have stopped this.” We relive things we may have said, things we did not mean, and wish we could go back and behave differently.
 
Stage 4: Depression
This is where grief may become prolonged and unhealthy. We start to feel the loss of our loved one, and might find ourselves retreating, being less sociable, and reaching out less to others about what we are going through. There may be an intense and persistent yearning or longing for the deceased to the point of wishing to join them. If this stage is prolonged, in addition to prayer, we may benefit from counseling. If a friend or family member seems to be having difficulty with grief, please suggest that they seek help.
 
And the final Stage, 5: Acceptance
When we come to a place of acceptance, it is not that we no longer feel the pain of our loss. We can view acceptance as a way to see that there may be more good days than bad. There may still be bad — and that’s OK.
 
Just keep in mind that prayer can provide a sense of comfort, hope and a feeling of being supported during your season of grief. There’s no exact time frame for each stage. You may have ups and downs, go from one stage to another, and then circle back. This is natural. It takes time to go through the grieving process. Matthew 5:4  “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.